Your Mindset Matters

January 23, 2020

During my book club meeting a few weeks ago, one of my friends mentioned she had been refraining from eating dessert because she was trying to help her husband lose weight. She indicated he has tried just about every diet and has not been successful. His latest splurge was purchasing a Peloton bike that now sits in their bedroom collecting clothes.

“I’m concerned about his health,” she said.

The conversation soon took on a life of its own as others chimed in on the techniques they have adopted to lose weight. One of the ladies had recently lost 14 pounds by writing down everything she ate—good or bad.  Eating on smaller plates was another strategy. Getting up early and exercising was yet another suggestion.

One even admitted how she loved exercising. I, on the other hand, exclaimed that I despised exercise and only worked out three to four times a week for health reasons.

At this point, it’s become a habit,” I said. “If I could be healthy without exercising, I would be the happiest person on this earth!”

At the end of the day achieving any goal—whether it’s exercising, writing a book, finding a new job—is all about one’s mindset.

Your mindset matters! Mindset can make the difference between failing and achieving any goal!  It’s the first rule of success. Even if I don’t like exercise, I pop up at 6:00 am and head down to our small but efficient gym in the basement. My goal is to get the training I need to stay energized, strong and healthy! That’s the only thing that keeps me motivated! It also allows me to eat a little bit of dessert from time to time!

If I happen to wake up with a “victim” mindset, I probably will turn over and catch a few more snoozes!

Studies have proven that willpower can quickly dwindle—hence the decline in the number of people attending the gym after February each year.

So how does one adopt the right mindset?

1. Where the Mind Goes the Woman Follows—Focus on controlling the way you talk to yourself. Recognizing and eliminating negative self-talk is the first step in achieving a positive mindset. Replace “I could never do that,” with “What if I can?”
2. Focus on Mini Milestones—When you incorporate mini-milestones in your goals, the end game doesn’t seem so overwhelming. For instance, if you want to begin looking for a new job, start with mini milestones such as creating an accomplishment list, updating your resume, getting advice from those in the field, and building a list of contacts/companies you want to target.  
3. Talk Back to Those Limiting Beliefs—When that limiting voice pops up in your mind, and you start doubting yourself, reframe it with, “Even if I can’t do it now, I’m capable of learning.”  For instance, in a recent conversation, a person was lamenting that she wished she were a better cook. Before she went too far into her pity party, we talked about how she could start small with simple but delicious recipes to build her confidence. 
4.  Add This Phrase—Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck suggested that adding three little letters can have a significant impact on your mindset. Putting in specific phrases such as “yet” can boost motivation. For instance, if a person says, “I’m not a good cook—yet” or “I can’t do this—yet,” it puts their fixed mindset statement into a growth mindset context of learning over time.

What tips do you have for changing your mindset? Let me know.